so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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