summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
should my penis look like a turkey
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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