It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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