On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
