Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
