I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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