So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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