I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
