why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
