Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
