Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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