MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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