Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
one two three fourrrrnication!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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