i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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