im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's just like the Real World with babies
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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