fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
