so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
