she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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