He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just invented taco cereal.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
