ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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