What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
