You're completely useless in the revolution.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
