So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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