quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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