Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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