I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
