One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Found the puke drawer
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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