like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
