I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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