I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
