All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
