Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Enjoy the penises
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
