Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
