she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
