end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
