I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
