and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
