Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
