It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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