Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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