I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
