we have officially lost it.
It's Friday. Sex?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
