Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
