We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Damn victory sex feels great
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
