I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
