I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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