Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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