The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
