Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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