In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
