We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
