Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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